A Little Bit Crazy
by brahdley jims
Summary: we're all a little bit crazy. - FinnickAnnie. Shortshortshort drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **So I fell in love with Finnick/Annie recently, and I think they're my new OTP. :3 These are a few drabbles I've come up with, and I put them together and here they are... I call them Fabbles. xD Enjoy, and please review!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned The Hunger Games, Finnick would not have died. Come to think of it, neither would Prim or anybody else...

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><p><em>So that's who Finnick loves. Not his fancy string of lovers in the Capitol, but a poor, mad girl back home.<em>

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><p>And perhaps it is inevitable, but they will never get their happy ending.<p>

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><p>She likes his eyes.<p>

They change colour according to his mood or the lighting. Most frequently, they are varying shades of green, with flecks of blue to reflect the sea.

They are an oddly brightly green today as he looks at her. Annie wonders what brought this on.

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><p>He's looking at her a lot lately.<p>

His goodbye kiss lingers longer than usual, and he seems reluctant to let her go, to allow Katniss' mother to gently guide her away, even though Annie knows she is in safe hands.

There's a strange expression on his face as he's looking at her one last time now, but Annie doesn't have time to ask what it is before the aircraft carries him, Katniss and the others away.

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><p>Years later, she still wonders what he almost told her. She considers that maybe he knew he wasn't coming back, but he would have told her if this was so, instead of keeping her in the dark. He wouldn't do that.<p>

Not her Finnick.

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><p>He's arrogant and egotistical and infuriating when she starts to fall in love with him, but beggars can't be choosers.<p>

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><p><em>(And really, it's not such a bad choice after all.)<em>

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><p>Adam is the spitting image of his father, and exactly like him, too.<p>

When Johanna mentions this, Annie gets wildly upset and asks he if she wants Adam to die at twenty-four as well.

For a second, there's a glimpse of the old Annie there.

And it scares her to death.

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><p>It takes years for a person to heal.<p>

Annie knows this from personal experience. It took a long time after she won her Games to put all her trust in Finnick and even longer for him to patch her back up again _(though of course, you can't ever stop being a little bit crazy)._ And when he was reaped yet again in the Quarter Quell, she broke all over again and the Capitol just kept on breaking her and breaking her, pain pain pain pain. But Finnick made everything alright again, and she was very nearly healed when he died.

Now, with her newborn son lying in her arms, so alive and beautiful and amazing, she can only cry with him because she doesn't know what to do and staring at his perfect face is killing her. All she wants is for Daddy to walk through the door, hold them both so tightly, and make everything alright like it used to be. But that doesn't happen. Because she knows deep down that Finnick is still dead, she is still broken and her son is still crying.

Annie wonders if a person can ever be fully healed.

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><p>It surprises her how much comfort she finds in Johanna Mason.<p>

She'd never much cared for the young woman before – in fact, she only really saw her at mealtimes, and then she seemed quite vulgar.

But Johanna never asked questions, never tried to ask her if she was alright, never tried to help her get over it. She was just there, cracking jokes and babbling on and, yes, casually insulting Annie from time to time, but that was what Johanna did. And the normality of it all made Annie feel safe.

Johanna had lost someone she loved too. And in those days spent talking about everything and nothing, she discovered something the two of them were that nobody else could claim to be.

They were both very much alone.

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><p>Some nights she cried herself to sleep. Some nights the doctors force fed her pills so that she might sleep peacefully for once.<p>

And other nights, she just lay awake and wondered if he was ever coming back.

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><p>He seemed to have a habit of leaving her.<p>

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><p>please <strong>review. <strong>should i continue? :)


	2. Chapter 2

**an: **Um, so, I decided to carry these on, at least for now. I am fascinated by the relationship Annie and Adam have, and if I do more of these, it'll be as Adam is getting older and there will be happier times, I'm sure. ^.^ So these are very AnnieAdam (with some Katniss too), rather than FinnickAnnie.

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><p>"Sshh, sshh… baby be quiet, please, sweetheart, be quiet…"<p>

Annie rocks her son in her arms desperately, straggly brown hair framing her face. It's greasy and dull – she hasn't had any time to look after herself recently. Her son is wailing and shrieking, his cheeks bright red, and all she wants to do is _sleep. _Why won't he be _quiet?_

"Sshh, Adam, please go to sleep, please be quiet, oh God, please. Oh, God, please." Annie's been focusing so much on her frantic rocking of Adam that she didn't notice herself crying. She shakes her head, silently praying for him to fall asleep… for good?

_No, __no, __no, __Annie, __how __could __you __think __that? _Annie berates herself, hating herself. _Adam __is __all __you __have __left __now. __Don__'__t __wish __him __dead. __That__'__s __awful._

But the truth of it is, Annie's slowly turning into the most awful person she knows nowadays.

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><p>Katniss is always so good with Adam. She sings to him, tells him stories – the few non-violent ones she has – plays with him. Peeta often jokes that it's practise for when he and Katniss have children of their own, and everyone is always amused at Katniss' panicked face whenever he says that. Maybe she's compensating for not having Prim around anymore. And Annie is sorry for that, she really is.<p>

She can't help feeling sometimes, though, that Adam is starting to think of Katniss as more of a mother than Annie will ever be.

What was that song Katniss always sung to Adam when he was crying? It sent him to sleep immediately, and Annie wracked her brains, her tired, strained memory struggling to find the lyrics. Adam's shrieking gets louder, and she suddenly finds the words flooding back to her.

"_Deep __in __the __meadow, __under __the __willow, __a __bed __of __grass, __a __soft __green __pillow__…"_

Her voice sounds cracked and hoarse. She doesn't speak much nowadays, unless it's to calm a screaming Adam – all in vain, every time.

"_Lay __down __your __head __and __close __your __sleepy __eyes, __and __when __again __they __open, __the __sun __will __rise. __Here __it__'__s __safe __and __here __it__'__s __warm, __here __the __daisies __guard __you __from __every __harm, __here __your __dreams __are __sweet __and __tomorrow __brings __them __true, __here __is __the __place __where __I __love __you.__"_

Adam's blue eyes fix onto her own. She takes his hand, rubbing it gently.

"_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away, a cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray. Forget your woes and let your troubles lay, and when again it's morning, they'll wash away."_

She let a tear slide down her cheek, dropping onto Adam's blankets. Hugging her baby closer, Annie pauses before finishing the last verse.

"_Here it's safe and here it's warm, here the daisies guard you from every harm, here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true, here is the place where I love you."_

Annie kisses Adam's fingers as she slumps against the wall, burying her face in Adam's blankets and crying so quietly, because Adam's only just stopped and the last thing she needs is for him to start up again. She could swear Finnick's voice is whispering to her in her ear, but then again, she's Annie, and she'll always be a little bit crazy.

"_Here is the place where I love you."_

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><p>Annie should have expected Adam's first smile to come when Katniss was tickling him and making cooing sounds at him. Balling his fists in the air, his tiny face lights up, and Katniss stops what she's doing.<p>

"Annie, come look!"

She also shouldn't be surprised when the first person he tries to crawl towards is Katniss. It still hurts anyway.

"Annie, look what Adam is doing!"

All of that is a stab to the gut for Annie.

But it very nearly kills her when Adam's first word is 'Katniss'.

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><p>"Here, you want me to take over for a while?"<p>

Annie glances at the girl in the doorway. "I'm fine." She's lost count of how many times she's said that – and not once has she meant it.

Katniss smiles sympathetically. "You look dead on your feet. Go get a few hours of sleep." She reaches out for Adam, and Annie feels something almost primal as she shield Adam with her arms., something that means she can't stand the thought of Katniss holding Adam. It terrifies her.

"I said I'm fine."

Katniss frowns, looking a bit hurt. "I'm just trying to help."

"You've done enough, Katniss!" Annie snarls. "We don't need your help!"

Adam starts to cry again as Katniss stares. Sighing, Annie cuddles him closer into her chest. "Now look what you've done. I just got him to settle down, as well."

"I know. I heard you singing," Katniss says softly. "Annie, you're tired. Please. Let me hold him, just for a little while?"

Annie considers it in her head, and then reluctantly passes the bundle to Katniss' outstretched arms. "OK. But just for a few minutes."

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><p>Annie often sits with Johanna now. It's a strange, unlikely friendship, but the only genuine one Annie feels she has – and so she clings to it.<p>

Except recently when she started to cling to things, they slipped out of her grasp all the more easily.

"Katniss is good with Adam, isn't she?" Johanna says out of the blue one day.

Annie glances at her sharply. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she's good with him, seaweed brain. He likes her."

"But I'm a good mother too. Aren't I?" Annie asks uncertainly.

Johanna hesitates a second too long.

"Katniss can't be a better mother than me! Adam is my son!"

"Annie, I know. You're his real mother. You're the best mother, for Adam." Johanna tries to placate her, but Annie can't stop the tidal wave of fury now.

"Is that what everyone is thinking? That Katniss is better with him than I am?"

"No, Annie, it's not – God, just calm down –"

"I can't calm down! That's my _son, _that's my Adam, that's – that's _Finnick!__"_

"Jeez, Annie, stop being so crazy!" The words slip out of her mouth before Johanna can realise it herself.

"What did you just call me?" The whisper is deadly, disbelieving, and yet there's something so childlike and vulnerable about the way she says it that makes Johanna regret every insult she's ever said to Annie – at least, to her face.

"Annie, I didn't mean –"

"Yes, you did. And so does everyone else."

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><p>Adam stops crying almost as soon as he's in Katniss' arms. Katniss smiles down at him. "Hey, little one. Are you going to go to sleep now? What a good baby… lovely baby…"<p>

Annie watches them closely, the intimacy of the moment like a thousand needles piercing her skin.

"Do you want me to sing to you?" Katniss whispers.

"No, he doesn't." Annie strides over to where Katniss and her baby are standing. "That's enough."

"OK. OK." Katniss hands Adam back to Annie again. "Goodnight, Adam. Goodnight, Annie." She leaves.

And Adam starts crying again.

Annie stares at Adam's distraught face, then at Katniss' retreating back. How can this be happening? How can she be losing her baby, the one thing she has left to live for, to _Katniss __Everdeen?_

But staring at her son now, crying because Katniss is gone and not Annie, she realises that she isn't losing him, and Katniss never tried to take him from her. Annie lost him a long time ago.

She lost him when she lost Finnick.

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><p>please <strong>review. :)<strong>


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